She
by Fanficuserhihi
Summary: In which Sakuno falls blindly in love with someone whose existence is far more out-of-her-reach than Ryoma. (Pairing: SakunoxRyoma)
1. Chapter 1: Prologue

Hey there all! I made changes on the first chapter of this fanfic, so here's the newer, edited one!

Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis or any of the characters in it.

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**Chapter 1 : Prologue **

She hates _her_, hated _her_ with all her passion.

She'd asked herself a couple of times; _how is it possible for someone like her to harbor so much dislike on a stranger, a person that she'd never met before. _

She doesn't even know_ her_ face, yet she hated _her_. And she, too, hated herself for being unfair, unfair for hating _her_, unfair for blaming _her_, unfair for wishing- oh! How it shamed her to admit that she wishes upon all the Gods that exist above the earth for _her_ to just disappear.

_Selfish. _

She knows that it's wrong- it is wrong for her to yearn for him, but she knows that she could not and would not ever stop wanting- no, needing him.

She needs him so much that she hates_ her_, loathes_ her_ with all her might.

_Her;_ the person that he practically worshipped every single day.

She'd wondered when exactly was it that she has started hating _her._

Was it that time when she first saw him, sitting in an empty classroom, with tears streaming down his cheek?

Was it that time when he first told her about _her_?

Was it that every time he would frown at the mention of _her_ name? Or the way he sometimes would fake a smile for _her_ sake?

Was it that dazzling smile that he always wore whenever someone would ask about_ her_? Or the way he talks about _her_, or the way his eyes would light up at _her_ name?

Her stomach lurched at the thought of _him_ and _her_ together.

"Ryuzaki"

_Stop. _

She'd wondered what does it make her?

_Stop it, Sakuno. _

What does it make her when she's like this?

_I hate it when I'm like this. _

_This. Selfish. Immature. Inconsiderate. Miserable. Hypocrite. _

"Ryuzaki"

Ah, there he is standing there in front of her, staring with that always-so-considerate look in his eyes. How unfair.

**He doesn't know.**

"Ryuzaki? Are you okay? You seem a little bit out of it." Soothing voice that seems to caress her all over. How unfair.

**He doesn't know**

"I'm okay," She forced a smile at him.

Dazzling brown eyes narrowed slightly, seemingly unconvinced and still very much concerned at her empty smile. How unfair.

"Are you sure?"

_Always the worrywart. _She chuckled.

"I'm fine, thank you. Ichikawa" She paused dramatically, light brown eyes locked with darker ones,

He lifted an eyebrow as if waiting for her to finish whatever it is that's hanging between them. How very unfair.

"Sensei."

How she loathed that distant tittle that is there between the two of them.

She smiled.

**He doesn't know that she is deeply, obsessively in love with him.**

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Don't forget to reviews! I love reading all your reviews! critics are very much welcome (as long as its not harsh or anything :P)


	2. Chapter 2 : Her Secret

Hey there! First of all, thank you so much for all your reviews! and also much thanks for those who favs and follows!

And so- here's the next promised chapter! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis

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**Chapter 2: Her Secret**

Sakuno has always prided herself in being a good girl.

From elementary till high school, she has always been one of those people that- if asked to describe, would be called 'nice', or anything else along that line.

Her school graduation books are always scribbled with praises from her teachers.

Tomoka, would sometimes get mad at her for being- her, and every time that happens- she would smile even more. Not because she doesn't get the reasons for her best friend's tendencies to just sprout fire at her every time she nods her head submissively at one of the so called 'bullies' of her class, but because it warms her- the fact that Tomoka cares enough for her to always get mad for her sake.

She would never blame Tomoka for being mad, cause it's true, even she admits it- that she's a pushover, a girl with no spine. She'd wondered why that so- why is she so timid and weak-minded, and just so her? And then she realized- perhaps that's what makes her days always so peaceful.

Perhaps those timorous, shyness, cowardly self, are what make her so… tolerable? And so she nod. She nodded at that. Believing in her words that perhaps- those are the things that make Tomoka, her best friend for four years now, to stay, and her grandma to live long with no need at all to worry for her and for her classmates to not hate on her.

Perhaps that's also what makes her to be the her that everyone comes to used to- the always so polite, considerate and forgiving Sakuno.

And so she smiled.

Because honestly, she liked that- the fact that everyone seems to know that she has that warmth in her.

And so- when she came across a teacher, sitting with back so hunched, she knew that day what she should and would do for him, because she, herself, couldn't help it but to help him, to give him some of her warmth, because she knows that he wanted and perhaps- needed it the most, just as any other human beings need his/her mother's hug once in a while.

And just like a kicked and abandoned puppy, he came in slowly into her life. At first, it was pity that droves her into him, that forced her to come ask him 'what's wrong?' whenever he would frown at something, that pushed her to sit in front of him whenever he needed someone.

He'd never actually said he needed her, but she just assumed he did.

Because she is Sakuno.

That stupid naïve Sakuno, the one that cares too much and asks for too little from others- that selflessly kind Sakuno who could not and would not abandon strangers in need.

He'd never gone after her, never went looking for her to talk or share his feelings, never willing- it always has been her, to first initiate whatever relationship they seems to have, and she knows that whatever relationship she has with him, for him is just the one that he always has on mind.

He's a teacher, and she's his student, never more and never less.

His smile towards her is always void of the warmth that he always has whenever he speaks of _her_.

And every time he does smile for _her_- she would always ask to herself; "What would it be different if I were born 10 years earlier?"

"What's so good about _her_ that makes him so madly in love with _her_?"

Those thoughts always seems to snap her, shock her into her spine, because as far as she knows- for this past 16 years, she has never been the type of person that wishes for things that are not hers and never hers.

And as she became used to those thoughts lingering in her mind, she started to feel this bubbling bitterness in her chest, squeezing her sun-like smile into nothingness as she started to sink deeper and deeper into the ocean of black, hatred.

_Jealousy makes one ugly. _

She'd wondered when exactly was it that she started to become this mess? Bottled up with jealousy so great that it seems to swallow her whole.

She'd never even once felt love so great and at the same time- so destructive that it chilled her bone.

She had always thought all along that- that she knew what love is long before she'd even started to come to love him.

She was twelve when she first thought about love.

She remembered those butterflies, and warm squeezing in her abdomen, and that fuzzy feeling in her heart as it pumped uncontrollably against her chest.

She remembered his back, his form always sparkling brightly in her eyes as he moved his shoulder in an elegant manner. She could clearly recall the sounds of ball hitting against the hot of the field, and feet tramping on as it moved back and forth against the flat surface- because that's where she always found him- her very first crush, in the tennis field.

She was a stutter mess back then, shy to the point of awkward. She remembered spending most of her free times watching him, always trailing behind him like a cute, lost-puppy.

Perhaps it has always been her nature to be stubborn, or perhaps it was her curse to be this so unable to move-on.

Perhaps, love is something that God frowns upon for her.

Because no matter how hard she'd tried, she could not and would not move on from this, this torture called 'love'.

She would trade everything to get rid of this love, give up anything to go back to those times where love is a fun and warm feeling with pumps against chest and butterflies all the time.

But she knows that that kind of love is no longer here in her heart,

Just like the old Sakuno that is no longer here in herself.

"Sakuno!"

Sakuno glanced up to see her friend, eyes blinking as she watched her friend, Tomoya, staring at her with a frown and a pursed lips,

_Definitely annoyed._

"Ah, sorry Tomoya, I was a bit lost. What were you saying again?"

"Jeez Sakuno! You've been quite distracted lately!" The pig-tailed girl huffed, half-glaring as she frowns worriedly at her friend. "Are you okay?"

'Are you okay?' It was a kind-of daily question for Sakuno. For her pale skin and blank eyes would always raise a few questions against it once in a while. Usually, Sakuno would just smile it off, tiredly waving the question with a polite 'I'm fine, thank you for asking though.'

But now, she really doesn't feel like lying, lying has been a tiring thing for her to do, it exhaust her, strangled her with so much bitterness that she always hated herself in the end for doing it, especially to the people that she considered as her family,

"No. I think I'm not feeling well, do you mind telling the teacher later that I'm going to the infirmary?"

_Ah, Tomoya looks worried. _

"Are you okay? Do you want me to go with you?"

Sakuno shook her head, answering with a small "No, thank you," as she started to stand up, with one hand on her desk, supporting half of her weight, and the other on her forehead.

She grabbed her books in a non-hurried way, and calmly took her bag in one hand after stuffing her books into it. She smiled weakly at Tomoya, reassuring her that she's okay and that a bit of resting will do just fine to make her feel right again.

Her footsteps were slow and heavy as it clicked against the cold marble floor. It was as if she was walking under water, and struggling against the strong current of deep salt water.

"Ryuzaki"

She stopped, dead rigid, as she looked up into the eyes that seem to suck her in, deeper and deeper and deeper…

"Are you okay?"

She snapped, eyes blinking drowsily, staring and staring at his perfect feature before finally settling her eyes back on the floor.

"I'm not feeling well, sensei. I'm going to rest in the infirmary." Her voice was meek, the type that can easily get lost in the crowd.

She could almost easily imagine him frowning worriedly at her weak voice.

"Yes, you should, Ryuzaki. You look quite pale. And you do not need to worry about your absence in other classes, I can take care of it."

His voice was sweet,

Like honey.

"Yes, sensei. Thank you."

She sneaked a peek as he walked to the front of the class, fingers brushing against the papers lying on his desk.

"Sakuno!"

Sakuno looked behind to see the person calling her name, Tomoya, smiling widely at her.

_Ba-thump. _

Her eyes locked into her dark browns.

_Ba-thump. _

Searching, searching for any glints that indicates her friend knowing about her secret.

Tomoya grinned, eyes glinting playfully as she waved her hands up in the air in an overly excited manner."Don't forget that Ryoma is going back to Japan this week! Hope it will make you feel better!"

Ah, right.

"It will." Sakuno smiled.

**She doesn't know. Not one person knows. **

Her heart howled.

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Reviews please? :)

Criticisms are appreciated as long as its constructive (and not mean)! hehehe


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